


Black Heart

by Pretty_Odd



Category: My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, Set It Off - Fandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe, Black Parade Era in terms of their looks, Homeless!Gerard, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-31
Updated: 2018-01-31
Packaged: 2019-03-11 19:52:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13531377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pretty_Odd/pseuds/Pretty_Odd
Summary: Gerard's life is unpredictable, Frank's is monotonous. What happens when their very different lives cross?





	Black Heart

I’m wide awake, it’s quiet, way too quiet. The sheets ruffle slightly, making me feel even more uncomfortable. I don’t try to move, that’s something you don’t want when you’re sleeping next to a stranger… strange stranger…

  
He’s got a piercing on his lip, it’s digusting. He’s using me, I know he is, I hate him. Maybe I was using him too, to get my mind off my depression, it seems to work, it takes my mind off the thought of everything I’ve lost… at least this way of covering my depression was better than my last… cocaine, meth…. But I’m not that person anymore. I won’t do drugs anymore… still I wouldn’t say it’s a bad choice; the chemical Phenylethylamine which gives you the feeling of love and adoration is prominent in cocaine. Then there's OxyContin, often called the cuddling hormone, its like ecstasy; every touch tingles. If you think about it for a bit you’ll see something…. Love exists in relationships, love exists in powder, love exists in pills; we are all addicts.

  
The stranger I’m sharing a bed with probably hates me more, but this wasn’t the case a couple hours ago. I was sitting in the backroom of the bar, sitting on one of those black leather couches they always have there. My knees were locked and my head was buried in my hands, that’s when I saw him. He was sitting across the other side of the room. It was pretty obvious he was trying not to look at me, and I guess I was also trying to avoid his gaze. We spent hours purposely eluding each other, doing special manoeuvres, exchanging shy smiles. In the end we both stood together in a dark corner, our lips barely touching. He said a joke and I laughed, my laugh was more of a pathetic giggle, his laugh was just stupid and annoying. We hated each other.

  
Now this stranger was next to me, sharing a bed with me. I longed for sleep, I should leave, I mean this was his hotel room after all, but this stranger knows me too well. He sits up and lights a cigarette, smoke comes out of his mouth in dark grey swirls. I hate him. He hates me too.  “Hey you awake?” he whispers, nudging my shoulder. He doesn’t have to ask, he knows I am awake so I just reply, “yeah… babe,” I flinch when I say that and almost immediately take it back. He smiles, his smile is barely visible in this light. I don’t know what he wants with me, it’s obvious he wants to talk, or something else, but we both go silent. I fall asleep before him.

  
A soft grey light streams in through the cracks of the curtains, he’s still asleep. I can hear his short quick breaths, I should leave now, before he wakes up but I don’t. I just sit on a chair facing the city, my knees locked and head in hands; the same way I did at that bar. When he wakes up he looks at me, probably wondering why I’m still here. As if it was a promise he passes me his hotel keys, “stay here,” is all he says. He leaves the room and I’m left thinking whether I should get up and leave or go through all of his shit and take something. Either way he probably couldn’t care less, but eventually I just resort to sitting on the bed the same way I always sit.

  
After a couple hours he gets back, looking exactly the way I thought he would. I’m not sure if I should stand up and greet him or not, there’s not really a point of saying ‘Hi’ to someone you hate. My knees just stay locked, and my arms wrap themselves around my body. At first he hesitates while walking towards me, but then he just kisses me, slowly making his way down to my neck, my knees unlock, you could imagine what happens from there.

  
After some time passes, he asks me a question, breaking the awkward silence. “So… tell me a bit about your family…” he says, it’s the kind of question you would ask in this dilemma. “They’re all dead…” I growl, I lie. Mikey’s alive but I’ve long since lost contact with him. He shakes his head, “sorry to hear.” All this time we’re talking all I can think is: DO NOT BECOME EMOTIONALLY ATTATCHED TO ME! This bed is barely big enough for his own baggage. We don’t speak after that, he just turns over in bed. It’s only when he starts snoring that I realise I haven’t eaten anything all day, heck I haven’t done anything. I ponder about leaving but I have nowhere else to go.

  
Lost in thought I try to sleep. I put my head against my pillow, and search for that one soothing sound. Pfft…Pfft…Pfft, I love that sound because no matter where in the world you are, no matter how far away from home you are, no matter what city you’re in its always the same sound, your heart beat never changes, it only goes silent… I slowly drift into a somewhat peaceful slumber, lulled by the beat.

  
I’m cold, and alone. It’s too dark to tell just how big this room is, there are no sounds, nothing to tell me where I am. All I can hear are my footsteps that echo in this room. I collapse on the ground, my hands stroke the ground, it’s cold and rough. “Anyone?” I cry, no one answers me. I start to sob, my knees lock themselves and my head buries itself in my hands. Then I hear a voice, no not a voice, it’s a sound. Curious, I wipe my tears and go see it. Then I fall backwards and scream.  
I wake in a sweat, I just hope my scream didn’t wake the stranger up, I look over my shoulder and he’s still asleep. I decide to leave, I can’t spend another minute in this hell hole. I leave my phone number on his table even though I hate him, it doesn’t matter anyways, he won’t call me. He hates me and I hate him. I sling my bag over my shoulder and leave his room.

  
New York is different at night, this is the time the freaks come out to play. People with wide toothy grins that look like they belong in a mental asylum, homeless people covered in layers of grime that indicate they had long since given up cleaning themselves, me, with my short platinum hair and green eyes so out of place in the city scape. There’s normal people too, people who’ve worked all night at high paying jobs in expensive tuxedos, people who have a family to go home to. I secretly envy them, their lives, everything they have, it only reminds me how pathetic I am. My hands find a place in my armpits where it’s warm, there’s a soft snowfall tonight and I’m wearing skinny jeans and a baggy grey shirt. I’m vaguely aware that this shirt isn’t mine, it’s the strangers, but I don’t care. It’s not like I can take it off now.

  
My legs have a mind of its own because right now I have no idea what I’m doing. I’m aimlessly wandering the streets of New York. There’s a thick coating of snow on me now, I’m shivering. I’m cold, and alone. It’s too dark to tell just how big this alley is, there are no sounds, nothing to tell me where exactly I am. All I hear are my footsteps that echo off the brick walls. I collapse, my hands freezing and quivering. Then I hear a voice, no, multiple voices. Curious, I blink craning my neck to see where the voices are coming from. I shakily stand up, exhausted from walking all night, I’ve got no energy left in store.  Then I fall backwards and scream.

**Author's Note:**

> This is something I wrote a while ago, it's inspired by a book I read a long time ago. I don't know how much of this I'll finish but if people like this then I'll write more. :)


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